It’s a common fact of life that people aren’t always going to like each other. Personalities clash and collide. Incidents happen, and people are left with grudges and hurt feelings. So many times, the people involved in the conflicts can have mutual friends and family members in common. Because of this, these conflicting people might find that they are invited to the same venues, and social events. It would be great if people could resolve their issues quickly, and go to these events having made peace with each other. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. So, these battling people end up at the same events, and instead of exchanging hugs and smiles, they exchange hard and cold glances from across the room! This brings down the excitement of the event, and makes others feel very uncomfortable.
This is already bad enough, but a baby shower is the last place that people should be playing out their drama with each other. It’s non-productive, and could add stress to the expectant mother. This is something that at least for the expectant mother’s health, can’t happen! So what is the baby shower hostess to do? The expectant mother wants everyone to feel included, and doesn’t want the burden of uninviting anyone. Yet, no one wants to be in the middle of a fight. Here are a couple of conflict scenarios that could take place, and some basic tips on what to do about them.
Mothers/Mothers in Law: Dealing with the mothers or mothers in law can be one of the stickiest areas to try to handle, especially if there are any issues with the mother of the expectant mother. Moms can tend to be bossy. They might be angry or feel slighted if they weren’t chosen to be the hostess of the baby shower. Maybe she had an idea for the event that was rejected. Maybe she wants to bring her favorite dip that everyone secretly hates, but never told her. Or maybe the mother in law doesn’t really like the expectant mother or father, and they feel resentful that they have to tolerate the mother or the father if they want to see their new grandchild. If the hostess is a person who isn’t the mother or mother in law, it would be best for the hostess to make a phone call to these ladies. Talk to them about wanting to make the baby shower as special for the expectant mother as possible. Ask them for ideas or suggestions to make them feel better. Stress the importance of focusing on the newborn baby, not any outside grudges or animosity. If the hostess is the mother, she just needs to put on her “mama bear suit” so to speak, and stress that no negative drama will be tolerated.
Mutual friends that don’t like each other: This one is easy for the hostess to solve. The hostess just needs to place some phone calls and or emails, and tell the mutual friends that they are to put on a smile, and be on their best grown-up behavior. The baby shower is all about the expectant mother, and not their personal issues. If they don’t feel like they can tolerate each other’s presence, then they should find a graceful reason to turn down the invitation. Perhaps as a concession to the expectant mother, the hostess could suggest that these friends could send a nice card or place a call to the mother telling her that they couldn’t make it, but that they will make it up to her with a nice lunch or get together.
There could be scenarios that the expectant mother’s father doesn’t like the expectant father, or a variety of people who don’t like each other. The bottom line is that the hostess has to be aware of these situations, and hold firm that the baby shower is a celebration, and not a courtroom or boxing match. If the hostess puts her foot down, then she can ensure that the guest can put aside their differences for a few hours, and focus on the celebration.
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